You cannot want it more than them!
- Chántelle Adanna
- Aug 11
- 3 min read
Lately, I've been saying to myself and in conversation with others, "you cannot want it more than the person wants it themselves."
Keywords for this post-
Stronghold: Fortress, fort, defence, hold, net, castle, designed to protect people or things inside from its enemy
Pattern: Structure, likeness, repeated predictable series of events
Root: bottom, deep, heels, origin or cause of a problem
Symptoms: physical or mental change that a person feels, which shows that a disease, illness, or deeper problem may exist
You feel me though? Like have you ever been in a situation whether it's a team member or a family member that you have given all the tools and support to yet they still cannot get it?
You want to see the potential in someone bloom so bad and sometimes they try hard and it doesn't work or other times they barely try and accept mediocracy. Yet you're always puzzled as to why? How come this person always seems to have "bad luck". How come this person cannot get ahead, no matter what?
Most times we just leave it at those open-ended questions or settle for the mundane responses like " well, you know some people just can't get out of their own way, or they just can't focus..etc."
Yet, is that really true?
Or is there something deeper that influences the unfavorable outcomes consistently that most just aren't privy to?
The answer is yes, yes there is something deeper.
For example, you have a friend or maybe cousin, they have been in a toxic relationship or friendship for so long, and they keep coming to you to complain. You give them the advice to free themselves "time doesn't matter when it pertains to the value someone does or doesn't place behind you. So if there's a consistent pattern of disrespect, that's permission for you to leave," yet they don't.
Despite coming into agreement with every gem you're dropping (nodding their head) or the "I know you're so right. It's just not that easy. Every time I'm ready to be done, they do something that makes me say "maybe they aren't so bad..."
They still stay, and they still complain.
The realization is you can't want better for them more than they want it for themselves. You can't keep getting fatigued at trying to mend the surface when the root is unseen, i.e. spiritual. However, the hope is that you can give it to the One who eradiates all strongholds and yokes that aren't of Him.
The issue is that we aren't taught that out of the church and unfortunately not even inside the church...
I've witnessed and been in similar situations, and it becomes draining when you are consistently focused and trying to remedy the symptoms of the pattern. It's situations like this that confirm to me the spiritual realm is real.
As frustrating as it can be for you, being the friend looking from the outside in, the fact is that you cannot want better for anyone more than they want it for themselves, whether that is eating healthy given a compromised immune system, or wanting a spiritual revival.
I don't know who this is for, but there's power in repetition, so say it with me:
Nothing in life can you do for someone.
They have to do it and want it for themselves.
Even deeper than that, this is where the unseen world plays the biggest role. When a person does seems to want to do right but they can't seem to break free, know that it is mental, but more importantly, it is spiritual.
Tendencies that people have, or what we label tendencies, are truly the symptoms of a root.
That root could be anything from fear, perversion, rejection, bitterness, unforgiveness, poverty, or pride, on the bloodline. There are plenty of others, but my point is that to a point it is the person's fault, but if it's a consistent pattern between "I want to do better" and "I'm trying but it fails every time," it's a pattern that indicates that a stronghold is at work!
Remind you of someone? It's time to take action in the ways that count, permanently.
All this said, when you have done all you can do to help people on the surface, you have to then attack the root in prayer, which is spiritual, to see a different result physically.
Just some food for thought.
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